Not Ready

I'm pregnant.

Dale wants this.

I don't.

I don't want to lose him because he thinks I ruined his dream. And yet a little part of me wants this, but feels like he's trying to force me into this. I don't want this.

I don't want a baby.

Vanity in me doesn't want to look pregnant I want to be skinny forever.

Going all the way

So, I'm kinda of nervous, but I did it.

I changed my preferences at work to move over to Grocery, I only picked things I would move up or stay the same in pay.

I'm terrified to leave, but change will be good.

To be honest I really decided when my horoscope told me to try new things at work.

Need Advice

Alright, so.

Let's start with this.

I got told by the assistant grocery manger at Hell-Mart that he needed me in grocery, and if I was willing to switch from cashier to grocery, he could have me do that probably within the next few days.

Instinctly I want to say YES!

Especially with all the shit I've been enduring as a cashier. People are terrible, I have some terrible managers, and I get all this shit.

But. I would miss my good mangers, and my regulars (coupon ladies are their name)

And I might get bumped down pay grades, which means I would get paid less (which I would say hell no to) but it really depends on what position.

I'm seriously tossing this around in my head.

And it's seriously a debate. Thoughts?

Of Course

Of Course today I'm feeling fat and down.

Sometimes I feel like nowaday I have nothing interesting to talk about.

I coupon, and end up with a bunch of shit, and bunch of shit I have no use for.

I want to sell it, but, honestly, where in the world would i do that?!

 I have a picture of Dale and I, but I look like such a fatass.

But thats all I have, I really love him.

The Likewise of my Last Post

So despite my weird dream life has been ehh.

We've been couponing, things at work have been okay.

I keep gaining weight and the more I gain, the more I hate myself.

So I looked up a few things from my dreams.

The bus- Apparently means I lack originality because I'm going along with everyone else.It also note I don't really have control of where my life is taking me.

I can only relate this to how Dale and I are fighting, because he never lets me go hang out with my friends because he doesn't trust me. But he makes it sound like I only want to hang out with them by myself, but, its not either of those things. I want to hang out with him and my friends, but not all the time, and I feel like if I don't change that, I'm losing control.

Welding-  To dream that you are welding something suggests that you need to incorporate some behavior, habit, or character into your life. You need to combine various aspects in order to feel whole. 


I honestly have no idea what this would refer to. At all, Maybe couponing, and Dale, and partying and friends, and work? I have no clue! 


School- a dream that takes place in school may be a metaphor for the lessons that you are learning from your waking life. You may be going through a "spiritual learning" experience. 


Yeah. No clue again.


I looked up gambeling, but, it told me to let up, only if I saw myself gambeling, but I wasn't other people were.

Rain-  To see and hear rain falling symbolizes forgiveness and grace. Falling rain is also a metaphor for tears, crying and sadness. Alternatively, rain symbolizes fertility and renewal. If you get wet from the rain, then it indicates cleaning from your troubles and problems.

To dream that you are watching the rain from a window indicates that spiritual ideas and insights are being brought to your awareness. It may also symbolize fortune and love.

To hear rain tapping on the roof denotes spiritual ideas coming to fruition in your mind. 

I had to post the whole thing, because literally all of that happened. Still not exactly sure of the referance. Sadness in referance to fighting with Dale, and this whole job thing? 

Cell phone- 

To see or use a cell phone in your dream indicates that you are being receptive to new information. It also represents your mobility. Alternatively, the dream signifies lack of understanding. Perhaps you are having difficulties getting through to someone.

If you find a cell phone, then it symbolizes reconnection and reopened communication.

Now, I feel like the first one really goes better with the flow of this dream with the whole informationg thing that I don't really understand. Getting through to Dale is impossible with how I feel, possibly because I don't know how I feel. The last one is what happened in the dream, but I haven't like. Reconnected with somebody, I don't think.

Cd Player-  To see or use a CD player in your dream represents the impression or image that you want to project to others. It may also symbolize inspiration and the simple pleasure of listening to music.

Nope. No clue.

 Laptop- To see or use a laptop in your dream represents your need to reach out and communicate with others in any circumstance.

I assume this has to do with my partying. I need to reach out to Dale even when I want to party and make him feel a part of everything.

The cemetary perception bothers me too much to post unfortunately.

I dunno. Time to go to sixbillionsecrets.com

 

Dreams and The Likewise

Alright. So I literally had the strangest fucking dream. Gonna look up the meaning after I tell you guys about it. It was so intense.

Alright, so it starts out, idk, some girls (I don't really know, but in my dream I knew them) we were hanging out going to run some errands or some shit, and like. Well basically my friends have some horses, and like, they need a piece of their cage welded.

So I go to weld it, and I'm not sure if I'm putting the right pieces together, and so we go to find my stepdad who is like, really good at welding (NOT TRUE!) and we have to walk through like, this weird ass school and shit, and finnally we come upon like, this gambeling ring and there is my step dad. So we tell him we need his help and he follows us to help us, and th elikewise. Well, this one kid, who is like our age, but fairly irritating, and just, idk, like, one of those people that are super irritating everything they say and everything about them. Well basically we get finished with our errands, and we're riding the bus home, and this kid appartenly like is coming with us well we find this phone, and it's got a kermit the frog case, and this kid starts making fun of it and shit, but we decided to leave it on the bus.

Well, eventually we get off at this restaurant. We go inside, and he goes to go to the bathroom, and we ditch him.

I feel the need to make this side note. It was raining and grey the whole dream. It was pretty cold outside, and I wasn't wearing a jacket.

Anyways. Like the next day basically, I'm by myself on the bus, and there is this trashcan right there and a phone starts ringing inside of it, and I look inside, and it's the phone from yesterday. So I pick it up, don't answer and put it in my pocket.

Well then I meet up with my friends, and basically they say the same thing, like one found a CD player, with her name on it, and like, the other girl found another cell phone.

So we go to this cemetary, get out and walk, and we're freaking out, and end up in this library, and find this girl's laptop. Well, we're trying to find someone to contact, to tell them the laptop was missing, and we do the same thing with the phones, but we can't find any good contacts (like a parent, or a constant person their texting), and basically we open up the laptop, and find all these weird like Craigslist porno emails, waiting for this girl. And we're assuming she got kidnapped. Well, the library closes down and we end up having to walk home, and the computer starts dinging, and the phones starts ringing. And I woke up.

Its really got to me, really not sure why. Have to go look it up now.

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