Thoughts

Hi loves.

I keep coming and going.

But I swear the new year is upon us and my blog will live again.

Resolutions:
Lose the Weight.
    I WILL be 125 lbs
Be an AMAZING Mom
    Spend more time with Oliver.
Clean Your Fucking House
    Literally just pick something up every five minutes.
Liven Up Your Blog
    Be insightful on something!

So.

Here's my attempt to liven shit up. It's gonna be a long post.

Soooo I guess I'm not sure where to start.

Thing with Matt are confusing and wonderful.

It was my birthday, and as usual, he treated me like an absolute princess. Put more thought into my entire birthday then anyone had in a very long time.

We're offically boyfriend and girlfriend. But not "in a relationship" thats where its confusing.

Like he said the other day "I love how we are, but I know it cant be like this forever"

I dont want to read too much into it, but I feel like that means he doesn't want me forever. Which in conjunction with everything Dale, thats just too much reality for me.

So I just pretend it never happened.

I love his friends, even his ex girlfriend ( a lesbian now haha). But the girl who took his virginity.

I don't know her. I barely know about their relationship. And I hate her. I see pics of them together and I want to rip her out of them. I dont know if its because I cant stand how she broke Matt emotionally, or what. But I hear any mention of her and I have panic attacks.

Matt let me read journals he's been keeping since 2006.

They were very intense. and insightful. And reminded me of my blog.

Of me.

I'm falling hard. Yikes.

He made an entry on 12/27/07 which was my 15th birthday. It just made me feel like we were forever connected.

So in talking to Dale (like I have to unfortunately) Amber (his brothers stupid judgemental bitch wife) is pregnant.

And I hate her too.

Thats all I have to say about that.

Miss Independant by Neyo is currently my theme song.

I just want tattoos.

I just want love.

I just want skinny

So I will.