Wonderful.
Now I owe you ladies a few days worth of things.
Day 20
Favorite diet? Well. I have no fucking clue, seeing I can't stick to one! Probably the ABC, which I will soon be back on track to.
Russia. I want to go there. Freexing? I don't care! The buildings are beautiful.
Day 21
Currently, I can fit into a size 7 pant (my lowest, ever) and still large shirts (I like em kinda baggy).
This is Lynden and I. I have told you about him before.
Somewhere around.....
Here: http://lalaponeysandlalapopcorn.blogspot.com/2011/12/so-today.html
day 22
My lowest weight has been 149. 6 or .7 or something. I posted it on here earlier. I gained because I got so stressed, and was just devouring food like I could. BAD!
This is an OLD ass picture. I actually found it on the facebook of an old friend that hates me now, that has been blocked for a few years, that I finnally got able to find again.
Anyways. Confusing. I'm eating. I'm happy. I have a spoon in the icecream along with a fork in my hand.
The good ol days.
Day 23
Media really only played a bit into my wanting to lose weight. Pretty women do get what they want, but it was really my own doing.
My favorite author, indeed. Actually her last book was one thing inspiring into my weight lose (Perfect is the name, and it's very hard to read for me)
But, these three (trilogy) are my favorite. I feel so much like the main character, and when Trey comes into it, it reminds me very. very. very. much of Lorne.
And its a bit crazy.
Day 24
I dunno really how I feel about the pro ana/mia terms. They're just words. If your pro to me, your gonna talk about it, encourage others in what theyre doing. And, it's just, words.
Fuck oreos man. theyre my WORST binge food. I can eat a whole package in one night, by myself. Major binge/ craving food.
Day 25
Have I ever purged? Well. Not exactly. I've tried for sure.
My first experience, I was with my family, and I was 13. We were eating at thios stupid country restaurant in the mountains, and I was panicking about how much I ate. I raced to the bathroom and proceeded to actually purge up what I ate. But. I purged way to much and began hurling up blood. After a bit I was so dazed I had to lay on the bathroom floor, alone.
Yeah. Not my prettiest moment.
Thats me, last year. Lets see. I'm the same weight. I don't have the nose rings anymore, but I want them back. I don't draw on myself nearly as much. I don't go out, nearly as much. Uhm... Yeah, bout it.
Day 26
The most exciting thing? HIP BONES! Or leg gaps, or wearing a bikini and being okay with it, or. Or. Just being that thin. YES YES YES. I want it.
My siblings mean the world to me. My babies! I couldn't live without them. My world would be crushed.
Day 27
I deal awfully around food. I just eat it, or don't, but I panic if I don't and eat it anyways. So. Yeahhh.
Thats me Jaiden and my Grandma. I look awful here, but. It is what it is. My family is the world to me.
Day 28.
Hell yes I want the gap in my thighs! That shit is sexy as fuck, and I'm sick of getting rub burn!
Eating like that. Fucking Terrifies me.
Anyways, terribly long post and I barely told you about my apartment. I'm signing papers tommorow!
Yay! Lovely Night Ladies.
1 comment:
Uggggggggh I remember in 9th grade when I used to lounge in the Jacuzzi with some girlfriends and eat pounds of chocolate and have ripped abs and not a care in the world. I don't eat like that anymore. I eat perfectly. I wish I could go back.
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