Bout as creepy as it gets.

Shout out to Gymnast! Mike is the guy I met at the mall that /had/ a girlfriend (they broke up) and how I met Greg. We've been talking since Greg and I broke up.

Anyways.

Been eating like shit. Can barely fit into my sevens anymore.

Moving to my place in 3 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So excited.

Havent been blogging often and I apologize, besides just not being in the mood, I've been working like crazy.

Anyways, I was going through my email, and happened to find a picture of Joe. And I burst into tears.

Now, most of you don't know about/ the story of Joe.

SOOOO Here it goes.

One night I was house sitting for Barbie, and had invited my friend Lisa over. Well. We were getting pretty shit faced. So we invited this guy over. And then, she was like "I wanna guy to bone" so we went on craigslist (yeah, good choices are not really any choices of mine)

and found this guy. And then he came over, and I was so shit faced I barely got to meet him.

But the next morning I got up to a house that might have looked like a scene from the hangover, so I was emailing him, and we were laughing about it.

Well, I began to text him, and Lisa began to text the guy I had slept with that night.

So one night we hung out, and we really didn't do much but sleep together, and then he left.

And it was great, we were like best friends. Talked EVERY morning and every night, and he talked to me til I fell asleep (my favorite thing anyone can ever do ever.) and we told each other everything.

A common thing of ours was to just drive around. Get in his very sexy audi and drive around blasting music and laughing.

And we were so in love. We weren't dating, or anything, but it was just one of those things you know? Ya know? Like, he would call me beautiful, and love, and I couldn't resist him.

And then. I left for school, and we were still like best friends, and he helped me throguh the whole getting kicked out thing. And when my mom beat the shit out of me, he helped me through that. But, slowly, he was getting more depressed, and he would just turn off his phone. He had lost his job, and so paying bills was getting to him, and shit was piling up, and he was getting more and more and more depressed. Once he threatened to kill himself. And I sobbed on the phone, and asked him never to leave me alone in this world, because he was the only thing I had to live for. And he said.

"Kid, I would never leave you. I will never leave you. Your my best friend, and I love you too much to let this world take you away from me."

The last time I saw him was on Halloween. I begged him to text me more and he promised he would. And we left it with a goodnight kiss.

He was supposed to come for Thanksgiving, and never did.

The last time I text him was sometime in December when I asked if we could hang out on New Years. He promised, and I bought him his favorite cologne for Christmas.

And I never heard from him again.

As I type this I'm sobbing. He promised he wouldn;t ever leave me, and he's just gone. I don't know if he is dead, or in jail, or just doesn't want to speak to me.

I called his phone, it's shut off. I emailed him, but to no reply.

I looked him up online in inmate records. He isn't there. He is just, missing.

And it kills me. Joseph Mullen age 28 from Colorado Springs. If you look him up online, be warned, you'll find mostly nude pictures of him on random sites, gay straight, and so on. It's him, but none of them are updated.

He took most of my soul with him, and I miss him to eternity.

So here I go with the Creepiness and am going to post most of the pictures I have of him.



This is Joe and I at the club, he had a panic attack, so didn't stay in the club long that night. But I didn't care, I'm so happy I have this picture. One of the few of him and I.



This is Joe washing his car. He loved that thing more then anything, except me I hope. This was at one in the morning, us washing his car. So ridiculously fun.



This was the first time I ever set foot in Joe's car. We were parked in a parking lot just laughing and talking. I miss him so much it hurts.



This is Joe filling his car tire. This was the night we drove downtown, and went to random porn shops just to look at stupid shit, and laughed our asses off.




This is the last picture Joe and I ever took. Halloween. I have one of us kissing on my camera. I want to be the only one to see it ever, because it's almost like. A secret that I have that he loves me. Stupid, but none the less real to me.



This is the creepiest picture I have of Joe, but I'm in the mood to post it.

This is how I want to remember Joe. Laying in bed with me, as we had an amazing night, and neither of us had a care in the world. And everything was okay with the world.

Shitty quality. But, thats how love is, shitty quality, but so real it doesn't matter if it's blurry.

I miss him so much.

He was my rock. He was my world.

I wish I could find him.

I love Joe. Alot. And always will.

I need Joe, because everything would be okay.

My sex addiction, my eating disorder, my life.

My life would be okay if Joe would come back.

I know his phone is turned off, but I still text it.

I send things like

"Getting my apartment in three days. Wish you were here to see it with me, I lvoe you Joe Joe. Hope your okay. I miss you to death bfffff. I love you."

and it makes my heart hurt, because he vanished in thin air.