My first post in a while

I have no idea where to start for you guys.

Pictures perhaps!


This is my beaut6iful peoples wall. It's also the main part of my living room/bedroom/only room. I love it :D



This is Me and Samantha my sweet little kitten.

Now, I think I should tell you about the robbery before I go into detail about the new boy.

So it started Mike showed up at my work with some friends.

I took them to my house so we could have a party, we were drinking and having a good time, and I ended up BEYOND wasted and they kinda took advantage of it, and I ended up having a three-way.

So then, after the beer I was feeling fat and after the three way I was feeling disgusting. So I began purging in the bathroom and while I was purging, they took my shit and left.

They got away with movies, video games, my PS2 console (which I try using as my DVD player)

I called my friend Katy before I realized they stole everything and was getting ready to commit suicide I felt so awful, had the knife and pills ready, and when I noticed I called the cops.

I gave them all the information I had besides the fact that we were drinking.

They deleted Mike's number at of my phone, but he began texting me while I was with the officer, and basically he said yeah they stole my stuff, so I wrote a police report.

The next morning I woke up and there was a few of my movies, with a note that said I'll get the rest of your stuff. I'm sorry.

I called the officers, and then yesterday found a backpack in my truck from one of the guys with his ID.

I feel pretty lucky, and awful right now.

So then, I haqve been texting the overnight cashier at work Andres.

I told him what had happened, and basically he comforted me.

He has a girlfriend of three years.

He came to work the next day as I was a hot mess. And he just hugged me, and I told him I didn't feel like going to my empty house. So I sat with him at work for a bit.

The next morning after a long conversation, where I found out how different he is from other guys occured. He told me he wanted to treat me like a princess, it wasn't all about sex, he wanted to /love/ me.

And I told him things I only tell you girls.

MY eating disorder, my sex addiction, my more then often thoughts of suicide. My everything.

And he said he wanted to stand beside me to be with me through it all.

So needless to say, I fell for him.

And that nbext morning he came to my house, we made smoothies.

And he touched me, like. different then it being sexual.

It was... Sensual.

He just kept telling me how gorgeus I was and even when I started crying, he kissed me and my tears away and just kept telling me I was beautiful.

And we were messing around the entire morning.

And then, I kicked in.

The bad I that turns everything bad, fucks everything up, and made him hate me.

His hand was down my pants and I begged for it, and we did, and in the middle he was like I can't, and he stopped and I apologized, and he says hes not mad. But. I fucked it all up.

He didn't text me the rest of the day or the next day.

Finnally lasy night I saw him at work where I profusely apologized and laughed and said he wasn't mad, he was just sleeping and I was still his friend.

Then, this girl Angelique at work, who I HAD told the whole story to, told Andres she knew what was going on.

So he text me and was like "seriously? now my shit is gonna be all around wal-mart and it's so not cool, just stop talking to me" I stormed away, saying I felt awful that he thought I was like that.

I told Aneglique this, and she said she told him that she had just said she knew we were talking and that I liked him. Which is exactly what I told him, and then we made up.

I had a girls night last night and got beyond wasted again.

Appartenly him and I got into it on the phone because I wanted to come see him and he said no he didn't want to take me from my friends, and I was really drunk and was sobbing hysterically for like an hour.

I told everyone I idn't remember because I was so fucked up.

But that was a lie too.

Then I get a text today from an OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD guy friend I know (we've only ever text/emailed never met in person) and. I stopped texting him because I send him pictures, and then I felt bad, because I borrowed money from him, and then stopped talking to him.

I told him about the robbery and he is sending me a DVD player.

I plan on selling it, because I don't have enough money to pay my rent right now, because I went crazy buying movies (yeah the ones that got stolen).

I feel like shit...

I reallllllly like Andres. He is so different and I contiually am fucking things up.

I'm so sad ladies.

Send me a letter (8420 Sheridan blvd #303, arvada co, 80003)

yes I'm insane enough to post my address online.

Or text me (720 429 5918)

At this point it's easier then blogging, which is such a shame.

I am down to 146.2

I hadn't ate in three days until last night where I smoked pot drank alot of vodka and binged on kit kats and salad.

I feel like shit today.

Might get a tattoo tommorow.

And I just want to lay in bed and not do anything until I rot to pieces.