Some Things I Never Wanted To Do

Some things I never wanted to do.

Have a discussion with my mom about having unprotected sex.

Have a discussion with my mom about my eating disorder.

Be afraid to post on my blog because of it's damning evidence.

But I don't care.

I am what I am, and there it is.

But I have new followers and I could cry I'm so excited.

I got on the scale today and weigh 147.8

My lowest.

My size nine work pants kept falling really low on me today. And it made me heart leap times a million.

Eating disorders are all about control. And I feel so happy, because when I do good like this, I know it's my control (I guess, even though lately, I've been OUT OF CONTROL) a feeling i dislike.

My moms friend keeps te (damn I just broke my nail!) telling me that I'm starving myself. True, but I'm not going to tell her that. In fact, it's pissing me off.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

I'm glad they're worried. but, I'm not glad they monitor what I eat.

Like the stuffing, and the mashed potatoes, and three bites of porkchop I HAD to eat today.

390 calories.

Not to mention my two oranges I ate today.

470.

an icky number.

Three days of posts insuing!

Day 13

My losing weight is unhealthy, yes. But it's getting the results I want. And I'm okay with that.



Thats Eminem. Who is my ALL TIME FAVORITE artist. Because, I always feel like he's talking to ME when he sings a song. and if not to me, about me.

I love him (besides, isn't he sexy?!)



Lady Gaga is second,. Not only is she SEXY. SMART.

She's so inspiring.

Day fourteen.

Ultimate goal weight? 98 pounds, and I hope when I get there, it's enough. I hope to get there by bikini season :D




These are my babies, and I couldn't imagine my life without them. For 15 years I was an only child.

But now, I love my babies :D

Day 16

I'm not a vegan or a vegitarian, and I probably couldn't knew too many people that were.

And, I barely have enough control to avoid food, let alone like. Animal products.



I want to have a gorgeus, REALLY EXPENSIVE wedding before I die. Sounds dumb, and un realistic. But I want it.

Anyways, thanks for the support ladies, and I love that you guys enjoyed the Gaga speech!

I'm off to bed.